Traffic trouble 2



Bands in my pants, keep ‘em kinda slanted
All about the money, know I got to have it
30 on me any time we out in traffic

Traffic trouble


 Yoppers on us any time we out in traffic
Pack touching down, time to bust 'em out the plastic
This for my dogs, niggas, moms, dukes, and the grammy

Who is working ??!

The population of this country (USA) is 237 million.
104 million are retired.  That leaves 133 million to do the work.
There are 85 million in school, which leaves 48 million to do the work.
Of this there are 29 million employed by the federal government, leaving 19 million to do the work.
2.8 million are in the Armed Forces, which leaves 16.2 million work.
Take from the total the 14,800,000 people who work for State and City Governments and that leaves 1.4 million to do the work.
At any given time there are 188,000 people in hospitals, leaving 1,212,000 to do the work.
Now, there are 1,211,998 people in prisons. That leaves just two people to do the work.
You and me.
And you're sitting at your computer reading jokes...

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 5

The case of the stupid locals enjoying their own beach
 A German couple pleaded their case at the local court, demanding compensation for a spoiled vacation.
The 2 Germans were very upset that their (public) Mauritian beach was also being used by locals. And obviously, the one thing that can spoil a vacation, is having to interact with the people that actually live there.
Verdict: local judge throws case into a local trash can

The case of the outhouse is not an acceptable bathroom?
A Swedish tourist visited his court to beg for a full refund of his vacation.
His complaint? His remote farm destination lacked in-building bathroom facilities, and he was forced to use an outhouse. Apparently this was just too much for him to deal with.
Verdict: case ended up in the crapper

Turkey, Istanbul


Turkey, Istanbul 
photo: Janin

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 8


The case of nobody told me the fire could burn me
Burning Man may not be the kind of vacation destination suitable for everyone, but 50,000 people make the trip each year. This year, one visitor walked around the large bonfire, getting closer and closer each time.
Eventually, he tripped, and fell right into the flames, burning his hands. Because nobody had told him about the dangers of fire, he took his case to court demanding someone pay him for his stupidity.
Verdict: case fizzles out


The curious case of too many Germans
 Brits and Germans have a very special relationship when they are abroad. And by special, I mean they hate each other.
Germans steal all the pool chairs in the morning, and Brits get drunk and wake the Germans up very early, forcing them to get up even earlier for their pool chairs (pardon the stereotypes).
One British tourist had enough - he took a trip to court demanding his cash back. His complaint? His travel agent had failed to mention that his destination was also popular with Germans. And apparently, too many Germans is enough to completely spoil your vacation.
Verdict: Klage abgewiesen!

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 7


The case of the snores galore
Snoring people are everywhere - including airplanes. However, when a German tourist was treated to several hours of loud snoring on his flight to South Africa, instead of just chalking it up to another annoyance of air travel, he went to court to demand a full refund.
Sadly for him, the court had to explain to him that snoring people are just part of life, and told him to stop wasting their time.
Verdict: a snooze case

The case of the super fertile pool water!
There have been many stories of immaculate conception in history. But none was as weird as the story of a Polish girl that got impregnated through the pool water at their Egyptian resort.
The mother of the girl insisted that her daughter did not have sex, and that the only explanation had to be the filthy sperm infested waters of the hotel pool.
Verdict: This case is dead in the water

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 6

The case of the stupid locals enjoying their own beach
 A German couple pleaded their case at the local court, demanding compensation for a spoiled vacation.
The 2 Germans were very upset that their (public) Mauritian beach was also being used by locals. And obviously, the one thing that can spoil a vacation, is having to interact with the people that actually live there.
Verdict: local judge throws case into a local trash can

The case of the outhouse is not an acceptable bathroom?
 A Swedish tourist visited his court to beg for a full refund of his vacation.
His complaint? His remote farm destination lacked in-building bathroom facilities, and he was forced to use an outhouse. Apparently this was just too much for him to deal with.
Verdict: case ended up in the crapper

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 4


One Briton complained that the £3.50 pair of Ray Ban sunglasses bought from a street vendor, proved to be fake, another that his travel agent had failed to tell him to wear swimming trunks for his trip to a water park, while another tour operator was criticised for not telling a traveller that mosquitos could, in fact, bite.
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Among the more jingoistic grievances were that there were too many Spanish people being in Spain and too much curry served in restaurants in India.
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The case of the slutty Dutch girl and the kitchen staff
A Dutch family visited the judge demanding a full refund of their vacation, as well as compensation for having to move to a new resort. Apparently the situation at their original resort was unbearable, forcing them to relocate to a more expensive location. What the Dutch forgot to tell the court, was that their daughter had slept with the entire kitchen staff, forcing hotel management to fire most of them.
Verdict: case dismissed

Ridiculous holidaymakers' complaints 3


An angry guest came down to the front desk of a Holland America Line cruise ship demanding a different room. The attendant tried to calm him down and find out why he disliked his cabin so much. He responded: "I paid a lot of money for this cruise and was promised a sea view, the only thing I can see through my window is the damned parking lot!"
We’d not yet left the dock.
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One envious holidaymaker complained that his friend’s three-bedroom apartment was “clearly bigger” than his one-bedroom place, while others could not hide their frustration that it took them nine hours to fly back to England from Jamaica when it only took the American travelers a mere three hours to get home.

American justice 3


Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a nightclub in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
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And just so you know that cooler heads do occasionally prevail: Kenmore Inc., the makers of Dorothy Johnson's microwave, were found not liable for the death of Mrs. Johnson's poodle after she gave it a bath and attempted to dry it by putting the poor creature in her microwave for, "just a few minutes, on low," The case was quickly dismissed.

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The "winner" every year: In November, Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32 foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having joined the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the Winnie left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the handbook that he could not actually do this. He was awarded $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago.

American justice 2



Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Penn., was exiting a house he finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up because the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, so Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. Dickson sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of half a million dollars and change.
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Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced-in yard, as was Mr. Williams. The award was less than sought after because the jury felt the dog may have been provoked by Mr. Williams who, at the time, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.
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A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a spilled soft drink and broke her coccyx. The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson threw it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
(to be continued)

American justice


May it Please the Court:
The Stella Awards® were inspired by Stella Liebeck. In 1992, Stella, then 79, spilled a cup of McDonald's coffee onto her own lap, burning herself. A New Mexico jury awarded her $2.9 million in damages, but that's not the whole story. Ever since, the name "Stella Award" has been applied to any wild, outrageous, or ridiculous lawsuits -- including some infamous bogus cases!


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Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running amuck inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving tyke was Ms. Robertson's son.
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Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran his hand over with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice someone was at the wheel of the car whose hubcap he was trying to steal

(to be continued)

Surfing at Bondi Beach

I had a quick bracing dip before hypothermia kicked in.
Roscoe was keen to surf so borrowed our friends vest and off he went to try his hand at it. He must have been out there for an hour or so and the colour of his lips when he returned said it all!
Surfing, I hear, is seriously hard first time and despite Roscoe being very sporty he found it challenging. Just finding space amongst all the other surfers was a real effort.
Knowing when to go for a wave was equally hard. Despite this he loved it, of course, and I’m sure he’ll be doing it again somewhere else around the world. 

Bondi beach - always busy

The whole journey was done in about half an hour. The town is charming and the beach itself is a lot smaller than I had imagined. This wasn’t a bad thing at all, it was just the right space. 
Surfing at Bondi Beach
Bondi beach is always busy in good weather and the surfers were out in force . We caked on the suncream as we’d already learnt our lesson about how quickly you can burn in Australia.
I approached the water fully intending it to be warm but it was seriously cold. I guess I’d been spoiled spending the last six months living in Thailand in fabulous warm azure waters… 

Australia Travel – Bondi Beach

Made famous by the tv show Bondi Rescue, Bondi Beach is one of the top things to see when exploring Australia travel. I wanted to head down there to see what all the fuss was about and prove that not all tourists are destined to be crappy swimmers and in need of rescue.
Getting to Bondi
It’s too easy getting to Bondi from city central. We jumped on at Town Hall and it took around ten minutes on the double decker metro system. Once in Bondi Village, we took a bus through the town to get to the beach.